Insert Clever Title Here
by peregrin76
Summary: Named changed. Cute drabbles, and now a fable! please R
1. Shirts and Chandeliers

This is the love child of the upcoming SAT and study hall. Also my very first ever non-school-related piece, so please be nice. Oh, and this be RoyEd, light, but boy/boy nevertheless, please don't read if you will be offended and will flame.

"spoken"

_thoughts_

**action**

On with the story!

"Roy."

. . . _sounds like Ed_

"Rooy."

. . . . . _please no. early. need sleep_

"Roy, wake up dammit!"

"hm?"

"Roy, where's my shirt?"

_shirt?_ "hmm?"

"The black one, with the clasp at the top."

_That shirt! Why does he want it? So very sexy with no shirt_ "mhmm."

"Where is it?"

"incomprehensible grumbling"

"Roy….."

_He's getting irritated_ **smirk**

"Don't make me call Alphonse."

_Armor equals big hurt. _"Down in the dining room."

And with that said, Edward left the drowsy Roy to claim his shirt. Roy, however, was grinning like a loon imagining the unfolding scene.

"WHAT THE HELL IS IT DOING ON THE CHANDELIER?"

Please stop by the comments section on your way out and leave the author a juicy response, thank you and have a nice day!


	2. Kiss: A Fable

A/N: back again, with a subject that plagues many of the wonderful fanfics out there, yet is sadly unchecked. Not quite as well written as I had hoped, but decent (I hope) nonetheless. Please R&R, and I promise to work to get better!

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Once upon a time, on a lovely spring day in Central during the military lunch hour, love was in the air. Yes indeed, our beloved Colonel and his protégé were enjoying each other's company on his lovely leather chair, entwined in a passionate lip-lock. Then, tragedy struck.

"Mmm," Edward moaned into his lover's mouth, breaking off the kiss for a breath of air. Roy stared aghast as the blond gasped for a bit, wondering just what the word "prodigy" meant, for his had just committed the highest crime of making out.

"Ed, why did you stop?" he ventured.

"What do you mean?" the younger asked, unawares of his crime. "Am I not allowed to breathe?" Roy sighed; he was going to have to explain after all.

"Ed, let's talk about anatomy." Edward's face lit up, then his eyes went half-mast in lust as his lover sighed again.

"No Ed, we both know that you know _that_ anatomy very well. I'm talking about this." Here he tapped the other's nose. "This mass of flesh, cartilage, and nerves was designed not only to equip you with a sense of smell, but is also connected to your airway. Do you know what that means?"

His response was a wide-eyed stare.

"I guess not. Ed, listen carefully. You CAN breathe through your nose."

The chibi grew mad at this, feeling that the colonel was patronizing him yet again. "Well of course, Bastard!" he spat.

"And that means it can be used to breathe," Roy continued. "When your lips are otherwise occupied, you need not break a kiss to breathe when you have another air passage to be used in such an event."

Edward stared for a moment, then one could see the light flash on as he leaned forward to practice this theory.

And the lovers lived happily ever after.

The End

Morale: Never should a kiss be broken for the need to breathe when a fully operational nasal passage can be used.


	3. Toast

A/N: it seems that I forgot something in the previous chapters…

Please don't sue, I don't own FMA, FMA is only for smart people who think it up, not silly poor people like me! Oh, and I don't own Foamy either, he is just an amazing delusion to have on your shoulder when taking a math test.

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"Roy, come here!" Ed yelled and turned back to his new treasure. Roy walked into the kitchen to stand behind his lover, himself clad in robe and boxers.

"Look what Hughes gave me, he said it came from a haunted house!" Edward was getting worked up over his…

Roy leaned in close to the blonde's ear to whisper softly, "It's a toaster."

"You don't understand! Here, watch this." Edward put in a slice of white bread and pushed the pedal down.

(60 seconds later)

Ed's toast popped up, but it was not white toast. It was…

"Wheat toast?" asked Roy.

"Yes and if you put in wheat toast, you get pumpernickel. Put in pumpernickel and you get a blueberry muffin!"

"Wow, what about a bagel?"

"No idea, let's try it."

(300 seconds later)

"Are these…"?

"I think they are indeed, pork chops." answered Ed, almost reverently.

"Did Hughes say anything about waffles?"  
"Yes, he said not to, something about a toasted human hand…"

"Alright." Roy moved away to begin preparing breakfast, omelettes. As his lover busied himself, Ed sneakily slipped a waffle into the toaster.

(46,347,323 seconds later)

"Woah, Roy, look at this!"

'Please no, he didn't." Pleaded Roy as he turned to where Ed was standing. 'when I find you Hughes…' thought the brunette as the other poked warily at a toasted human hand emerging from the toaster…

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A/N: so, how was it? What's that? Can't hear you!! I can't get better if you don't review. Oh, and don't be afraid to say negative things, just please don't bash my head in. Negative things help improve writing quality in the future!


	4. Bath Time

AN: back again, with a new, short drabble. Nothing in it belongs to me save the combination of words. Not the characters, not the house they live in, not Ed's bath toy, not even the pencil I used to first write this in the middle of french class. The pencil belongs to my friend Teah who unwillingly lent it to me, the ducky is my sister's and everything else belongs to corporates.

R&R please, it makes me go "squee!" with happiness when i get a reveiw!**

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Bathtime**

He stared strait ahead, unwaveringly.

"It" stared back

He lowered his face deeper into the water, bubbles almost obscuring his view as he studied the alien form before him.

Bright, obnoxious yellow, an almost shiny orange beak , unblinking eyes open wide in mirth. Almost as if…

Ed started as the other form was suddenly gone from his sight.

He then turned his head and stared as Roy calmly left and shut the door behind him, quietly.

The still of the household fell to shattered little pieces with a piercing cry of "BRING BACK MY RUBBER DUCKY DAMMIT!!"

fin

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yay! you made it this far. now all you have to do is click that lil blue-purple buttom at the bottom and leave a reveiw! (begging) 


	5. Clouds and Questions

AN/ I wrote this last week, and if you didn't know, these are all based on real events, including this. I promise to have something written for all my reveiwers as a holiday gift for being amazing! Just let me know if you want anything specific, it'll probably be posted after new years. Oh, and go read my newer fic, Soldier's Night, it's sad and angsty and totally different from these. ok, enough, go read.

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**Clouds and Questions**

It was a nice, spring day in Central. So naturally the colonel called in sick and stole his boyfriend from the library. The plan? Today was to be a day of relaxation, of lazing about, of cloud watching.

Despite Edward's grumbling about leaving the library, he had to admit that it really was a lovely day. Spread out on a grassy hills and watching puffs of upper atmospheric condensation drift by was just the kind of break he needed.

As is the nature of such events, conversation and deep thoughts were bound to collide.

"Ed."

"Hmm."

"I've been thinking."

St this, Edward sat up to stare at the older alchemist. Said alchemist just kept staring straight up.

"Are you okay? You didn't pull anything did you?" Ed asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"It's just been so long since you last had a thought. You have to be careful when you suddenly use a muscle that isn't used to activity."

He got a snort in response.

"Alright, what were you thinking?" he asked, unable to hold back a small smile.

"I was just wondering, who came up with the shape for the question mark?"

"Wha?" Ed was puzzled. This was the kind of thought that existed in that dark-haired head?

"Think about it, a period is simple, all it has to do is just sit at the end of a sentence. A comma is like that, but with a little extra so you know the sentence isn't over yet. An exclamation mark is a period with a large stress. None of them are as peculiar as the question mark."

Edward blinked once, sighed and laid back down. Maybe he could just ignore that Roy even said anything in the first place.

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AN/ why am I telling you this? you guys already know that reveiws are love and that love is what makes the world go 'round. 


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